He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i think my cat just said my name.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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