I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
