after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My bed smells like the plague
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
