I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
did i just pee glitter
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
