do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
