Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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