Im at strip club and am horny
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize