Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
