And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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