If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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