also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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