well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
