Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
