it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
