I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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