Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize