Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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