If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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