I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
