now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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