im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
