I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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