no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize