I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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