she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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