Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
