Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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