In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
