how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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