I think I am morally bankrupt
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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