i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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