Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
