I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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