i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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