Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
