he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
