party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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