screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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