Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
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Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Come on in and take your pants off
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