Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
