We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
