Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
