i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
