I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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