We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
