Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"

(1-478): View more from Georgia

And thats what homeschooling is for

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(478): I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!" (1-478): And thats what homeschooling is for http://tfl.nu/vl1o

Replies (17) Good night (4812) Bad night (798)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"

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(985): He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it" http://tfl.nu/q1ud

Replies (49) Good night (2370) Bad night (9521)
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(740): View more from Ohio

its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?

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(740): its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt? http://tfl.nu/t83k

Replies (10) Good night (3659) Bad night (1068)
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(513): View more from Ohio

So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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(513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0

Replies (19) Good night (6043) Bad night (1063)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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(306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3

Replies (24) Good night (10271) Bad night (1137)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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(615): The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw. http://tfl.nu/u9lh

Replies (10) Good night (868) Bad night (2927)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

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(780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a

Replies (8) Good night (1901) Bad night (722)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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(973): Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle. http://tfl.nu/gy9y

Replies (16) Good night (650) Bad night (1337)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun

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(614): I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun http://tfl.nu/01eg

Replies (14) Good night (1445) Bad night (1116)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.

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(773): I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day. http://tfl.nu/c735

Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (714)
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(905): View more from Ontario

It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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(905): It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms. http://tfl.nu/s3t3

Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (492)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you

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(636): I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you http://tfl.nu/1ybh

Replies (5) Good night (1096) Bad night (450)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth

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(301): I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth http://tfl.nu/nt7d

Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (440)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant

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(563): Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/dywh

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (340)
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(585): View more from New York

I need to sanitize my soul.

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(585): I need to sanitize my soul. http://tfl.nu/5mud

Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (206)

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