She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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