yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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