Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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