is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
