dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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