I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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