i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
