It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
