Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
