time to smoke my breakfast
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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