Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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