i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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