that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Rumble strips road head = magical
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
