STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
