It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
