Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
