I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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